On the Impossibility of Change

Reminiscence

I’ve often felt most alive when possibilities stretched out before me like an endless horizon. College, for instance, was a time of boundless exploration. I wandered through countless academic paths, discovering countless versions of myself. But it’s the moments when I’ve felt trapped that have truly shaped my perspective.
My early days as an engineer were a stark example. I was a cog in a massive machine, my future seemingly predetermined. The realization was chilling. It was as if I were trapped in a glass box, watching my life play out on a loop.
Perhaps that’s why I’ve come to believe that the most miserable moments of my life have been those defined by a sense of permanence. When we feel stuck, when we believe that change is impossible, we become prisoners of our own making. I wonder, do others share this sentiment? Are we all searching for a way to escape the confines of our seemingly fixed realities?

śūnyatā

The illusion of an enduring, unchanging “self,” a solidified ātman in the language of ancient Indian philosophy, is the root of much of our suffering. It’s in these moments of perceived stagnation, when the dharma of constant change seems to have ceased, that despair takes root.
But the truth, as I’ve come to understand through the lens of śūnyatā, is that there is no fixed, independent self. We are a continuous flow, a dynamic interplay of skandhas – ever-shifting aggregates of form, sensation, perception, volition, and consciousness. To resist this flow, to cling to a particular state or identity, is to invite duhkha, the suffering arising from craving and clinging. It’s like trying to grasp a handful of water – the harder you squeeze, the more it slips away. True freedom lies not in resisting the inevitable flux of existence, but in embracing the anicca, the impermanence of all things.
In retrospect, I’ve come to realize how profoundly the concept of śūnyatā has permeated my understanding of existence. Recognizing the impermanence inherent in all phenomena has enabled me to cultivate a greater sense of acceptance, allowing me to navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs with greater equanimity. The understanding that all things are subject to change has not only alleviated suffering but has also deepened my appreciation for the present moment.

Dynamic Self

Jung emphasized the process of individuation, where the self integrates with the unconscious, moving toward a more complete state. This process can be likened to a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, transforming into a wholly new being. Once the self has changed, it cannot revert to its previous state. We are inherently changing beings, and by embracing this change and living actively within it, we can achieve true freedom of being.